Update 4: The King Crustacean

Hello all, and hope you are all keeping well. Thank you for all the emails, support and responses to my agonised sms's asking for references, shoulders to cry on, doggy news and the like. You are all great!

I have just deleted my entire previous draft of this email by mistake - pages long - so this version is just going to have to be short!

2 Key pieces of news;

1. I now have a home. For those of you who want to write to me snail mail, or visit me while you're in London, I'm at [x] in Finchley, London, N3.

2. I am now permanently employed. I still can't quite believe it happened so quickly! I am a Secretary (stop laughing, you lot!) at [x] near Covent Garden. Lovely people, lovely offices, 30 mins away from home via the Tube. And nice pay too!

Things at home have been somewhat turbulent. Last week we had CRISIS THURSDAY (remember Crisis Sunday, Bons!?), when N the raving drunk got locked out of his bedroom by mistake, which caused him to drunkenly fall over and hit his head, and land unconscious in the street (don't ask). The stripper called the paramedics and the cops, so we had all these strange people in medical outfits rushing up and down the stairs, while V was crying on the phone to India, being dumped by her boyfriend. At the same time, I lost track of my mobile phone (typical) and rushed back to the office to look for it. There it was.

However, in complete contrast, we had huge fun the next evening. After a serious heart-to-heart with the raving drunk we all ended up all comparing our most eccentric shoes. Yup, shoes, folks. DMX had a pair of yellow trainers and Kaushil a weird square shaped pair of Indian slippers, but N won hands down when he came out on a pair of old 1960's roller skates, and proceeded to twirl very professionally up and down the length of the kitchen.That meant everyone had to have a go, and when K - who has never been on roller skates - finally got on and had to be half carried like a baby by the raving drunk, the rest of us just about dissolved in helpless fits of laughter.

At work, the team is really great. Very formal, very professional, and really nice. One of the IT guys is going to a theme party on Saturday night - everyone has to come dressed up as a Tube Station. Well, that had all of us going for the rest of the afternoon. You could come dressed as

- A Womble (from "Wimbledon")

- Late and Stoned ("Leytonstone")

- A Slow Hound (from "Hounslow")

- A Priest on Pot ("Parsons Green")

- A Hairy Shepherd ("Shepherd's Bush")

- Statue of Liberty ("Monument")

But I must say, his final choice was absolutely the best: He decided to wear a Crown and a Giant Prawn Suit and go as a King Crustacean (for "King's Cross Station"). Hysterical!

Also, nearby work we have a homeless couple living on the street, and they have the most DIVINE doggy. He is a beautiful Labrador called Hooch, and I get to say hi and give him a big love every afternoon on my way home. He is in tiptop condition (more than I can say for his humans), and is a dreadful flirt. Loves to be hugged and I must say it really helps with my own "Dog Withdrawal Symptoms". Hope Zeus and Scooter are doing well at their new homes, and that Francis and Anita are happy and that everything is going swimmingly - let me know if you can ...

I took a train trip to Poole this weekend, on England's south coast, to see K at a Wedding Show she was doing. It was so lovely - blue sky and warm and lovely to see the green countryside, and the sea and people flying kites. We 3 - K, G and myself - also had a lovely dinner at an authentic pub deep in the heart of the countryside in a little village called East Meon. Chicken and asparagus melt-in-the-mouth pie, then heated pre-election political discussion in the couches in front of a roaring log fire, with coffee and Glenmorangie. Now that's the way to drink whisky, GG and S!

I'm off to France this weekend - expensive, but looking forward to it! So I'll be back online next week Tuesday or Wednesday. You can also try emailing me at work (dunno what they are letting through at this stage) .

Missing you, thinking of you, and love you all. I will reply to each email separately.

Don't forget me!